Drowning

        The sound of water splashing in an agitated manner gets your attention. Realizing that it is your arms doing the flailing, and your body is slowly getting pulled under. Your lungs are fighting for every last inch of oxygen they can inhale before that last chance. All of a sudden that “light” everyone talks about shines brightly into your eyes and then it happens. Either wake up or go further into the light. No one can keep themselves from this unpleasant act; well not just anyone. I have learned that only one person can go down and pull yourself from the very bottom of that pool. If I had to cut down this dream, I would describe it like this. Turns out, I am the victim but at the same time the person that is also pulling myself under. My friends and family are like the sides of the pool. All it takes is an easy reach of my arm and touching them, and they will help me the rest of the way. The water is everything in my life, i.e. women, jobs, stress, anything that affects that inner balance in your body. It sounds remarkably unpleasant, but that is me on a daily basis and I have started to figure out what I must do. 

        I let so much build up inside that it starts slowly drowning me. I think too much into everything I do or see and please do not even get me started on the love part... I wish that I could just throw everything out of my mind and start over. I’m so tired of trying to understand everything in life that I am unable to find that peace I miss. We have all wished there was an actual "CTRL ALT DEL" that just ended the program. I have, but I think by moving away from all the crummy choices I have made will be my reset. Maybe gain some perspective on who I am suppose to be. By the time, I come around again; I’ll be a changed individual. Next time it seems like your drowning, put your feet down; may be surprised.