Allow me to apologize because I have given everyone the impression that I am a different person. I cannot explain who I am, and trust me I wish I could. I am a paradigm of my childhood. Yes, I have heard it all before; do not blame your past. Well the only problem with that is it is because of my past that I am the way I am. I do not assume any to understand or fully comprehend anything I write. All I ask is that they give me the time to show them that no matter what my past is I am trying to change it. Everyone always labels me as a warm and compassionate person, as much as I appreciate that, these labels are further from the truth than anyone can imagine. I grew up in a family that only showed one love, but I will never try to match it to anyone else’s. I try so hard to be a sweet teddy bear, but the fact is…there is a monster inside of me that I fight with to keep bottled up. I’m losing that fight no matter how hard I try…my heart is fading faster than expected. Only a few know who I am, and it has just got to be that way for now.
The darkness is overcoming my soul with each key stroke on this keyboard. If only there was some burning light within this tunnel that has crushed me. I feel cursed as if in my past life I did something so severe that I'm doomed to live a life of constant pain. I understand this all sounds like an outcry for attention, but that is further from the truth. What this correlate’s down to is an example of one person trying to make a difference in his life. He is ready to share with his friends and family his darkest secret. Maybe they will recognize him or maybe they will shun him for his faults. What I would like to see after all is said and done; is change. I know that only "one person can change you" blah blah blah... It is that exact phrase that makes me wonder. Is it possible? Do I honestly feel it in me to do it? I hope that this is not just for the hell of it. I believe in hind sight I just want to get this off my chest.
Am I worried about the ramifications of admitting to my darkness? Not at all and I’ll explain why. That is the first step for me, which is also the hardest, and the most important. I am sure that along the way we will enjoy some laughs and for the emotional few, maybe some tears. Either way we will learn the truth about this man’s journey through life. As everyone gets herded along for the trip please keep your hands and feet inside the cart. For I am about to blow your mind! As I take everyone on the scariest roller coaster ride ever imagined by one person. For your reading pleasure or pain, I give everyone who reads a compelling, dark tale of passion so horribly infected with twisted humor that it makes even the sickest person cringe. The story of a man, lost in a world of insecurities and morbidly suffocated with emotions so raw, a sushi bar won’t serve it. To all readers be warned; flip every page with caution as you are all emerged into an uncertainty of one man’s constant struggling with, life, love and the pursuit of his depression. Emerge yourselves into the parallel reality of hatred greed lust and lies. Come on, what did everyone expect? A book riddled with a darkened theme?
The darkness is overcoming my soul with each key stroke on this keyboard. If only there was some burning light within this tunnel that has crushed me. I feel cursed as if in my past life I did something so severe that I'm doomed to live a life of constant pain. I understand this all sounds like an outcry for attention, but that is further from the truth. What this correlate’s down to is an example of one person trying to make a difference in his life. He is ready to share with his friends and family his darkest secret. Maybe they will recognize him or maybe they will shun him for his faults. What I would like to see after all is said and done; is change. I know that only "one person can change you" blah blah blah... It is that exact phrase that makes me wonder. Is it possible? Do I honestly feel it in me to do it? I hope that this is not just for the hell of it. I believe in hind sight I just want to get this off my chest.
Am I worried about the ramifications of admitting to my darkness? Not at all and I’ll explain why. That is the first step for me, which is also the hardest, and the most important. I am sure that along the way we will enjoy some laughs and for the emotional few, maybe some tears. Either way we will learn the truth about this man’s journey through life. As everyone gets herded along for the trip please keep your hands and feet inside the cart. For I am about to blow your mind! As I take everyone on the scariest roller coaster ride ever imagined by one person. For your reading pleasure or pain, I give everyone who reads a compelling, dark tale of passion so horribly infected with twisted humor that it makes even the sickest person cringe. The story of a man, lost in a world of insecurities and morbidly suffocated with emotions so raw, a sushi bar won’t serve it. To all readers be warned; flip every page with caution as you are all emerged into an uncertainty of one man’s constant struggling with, life, love and the pursuit of his depression. Emerge yourselves into the parallel reality of hatred greed lust and lies. Come on, what did everyone expect? A book riddled with a darkened theme?
What inspired you to write this?
ReplyDeleteI suppose you could say I did... I like to look at all my troubles in life in a funny way... I figure if I can laugh about all my disappointments and depression issues, then everything will be okay in the end. Thanks for stopping by the creek...
ReplyDelete